Catechism of Cliché (9) online marketing

Good afternoon Mr Schemes.  – hey! What were you doing several years ago? – I was struggling to make ends meet And what are you doing now? – Living the life I dreamed of. In what pecuniary accumulators would you profess not to believe? Get rich quick schemes From what humble origin can I build … Read more

The Lexicon of Bullshittery

One of my favourite unfavourite things is business cliche.  That’s why I keep up my occasional Catechism of Cliche series. Here’s another great addition, from the blog Murmurations, by Simon Heath. Some highlights: 80/20 rule – what you invoke to save yourself from reading the whole report Benchmarking – Desperately looking for something to support a business … Read more

Catechism of Cliche (7) The Learning Exhibition

So here I am at the Learning Exhibition. What a lot of brochures in the carrier bag I have been given. What unpronouncable basis do you have for your consultancy? – we’re strengths-based (say it slowly) I’m pleased to do that. It’s still quicker to say than a weaknesses-based consultancy. Upon what acronym are you … Read more

Catechism of Cliche (6) – an update on the operating model

So, what can I find in this space? Lots of good stuff What is it doing in this space which may result in it no longer being in this space? Moving forward Speaking of movement, who and what else is moving forward? Our action plans How is this forward propulsion achieved? Each team is driving … Read more

Lamont’s Taxonomy of Direness

Maslow has his hierarchy, Bloom has his taxonomy. I thought it was time I contributed something to the sum of human understanding.  (About time, I hear you say?) I hope that this diagram will be helpful in team meetings, project huddles and boardrooms throughout the business and public sector worlds. Its aim is to help … Read more

Catechism of Cliché (5) – Human Resources

What are people? – human resources What do we do with resources? – manage them Into what subdivisions do these resources fall? – leaders and headcount What is the name for a member of headcount who is destined to become a leader? – talent Through what tubular thoroughfare will he or she make the journey? … Read more

Catechism of Cliche (4) – the project

What aeronautical journey stage has this project just completed? – it has landed How has it done this? – not as well as we would have liked What shall we have to hold? – our hands Where shall we have to hold them? -up I hear that pointing will be also required. What will we … Read more

Catechism of cliché (3) – the L&D pep talk

What is your job this morning? To share ideas around our vision I appreciate your generosity.  What act of manual dexterity will you also be performing? Positioning the change programme With what aim, of considerable aeronautical value? So that it lands well Whence are we beginning? A good foundation In what provocatory surroundings will we … Read more