Catechism of cliche (2): the LMS

(retrieved from my blog archive after two days at Learning Technologies 2014)

snails

 

What does this Learning Management System offer me?

– a solution

What kind of solution is that then?

– a total solution

That sounds all-encompassing. Does that make it expensive?

– Of course not, it’s a totally scaleable total solution

A solution, you say. Which of my many problems is it a solution to?

– all your learning, performance, talent, knowledge management and compliance needs

Deliverables, dear boy. What does it deliver?

– content

Content in the sense of a calm and untroubled mind, free from the worries of the working environment?

– yes, that. And rich media content

What can I do with this rich media content?

– easily upload and brand it

And what else, were I of a power orientation?

– you will have full control of your content and your learners

And how will I bring this rich media content into being?

– rapidly

In sartorial terms, how might this content be described?

– tailor made

What highly valued and pricey prerequisite is unnecessary for this solution?

– any technical ability

With what acronym is this system compatible to the point of intimacy?

– SCORM

To what level of proportionality is it compatible with said SCORM?

– 100%

What warm and fuzzy enhancements have you now added?

– a full suite of social learning features

What engineering operation of a force-magnifying nature will this apply to knowledge across my organisation?

– it will leverage it

What will this leveraging result in?

– a fully engaged workforce

So what does it cost?

– call this number – our solutions team are waiting to help you

Yes, but what does it cost?

– call this number  – our solutions team are waiting to help you

 

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