What unpronouncable basis do you have for your consultancy?
– we’re strengths-based (say it slowly)
I’m pleased to do that. It’s still quicker to say than a weaknesses-based consultancy. Upon what acronym are you focused?
What do you do to your clients?
Really understand them
And what else, of a surrounding and embattling nature, do you really understand?
Their competitive environment
In so doing, what signifier of merit, worth or importance do you add?
And in what way do you add this?
What distance, perhaps unexpectedly and to all intents and purposes superfluously, do you go in this endeavour?
The extra mile
That does seem excessive. What does it exceed?
Very good. Moving on. You sir, what will you provide my staff with?
Upgrades? What attributes of my staff will be upgraded?
Their employee skills
What longevous quality will these upgrades have, perhaps reducing the need for repeat business?
They will be long-lasting
Moving on to you, what would you like me to contemplate?
I am standing thereupon.
Not that platform, this platform
What are its points of prominence?
It is cloud-based, collaborative and multi-device
Quite. And you there, what intimate relationship, of a nature unlikely to be found in Eastenders, do you wish to form with me?
Your trusted partner
By what motive power are you carried forward?
We are driven by achieving the results you want
In what mouth-measurable and carefully combined artefacts do you specialise?
Bite-sized blended training solutions
And coming to you, madam, how do you bring Karl Marx’s vision into the 21st century?
We enable fast workforce empowerment
For the workers of the world?
Yes, we provide global strategic alignment
What service do you offer which may be of interest to the as yet unborn?
Next generation digital learning solutions
How long have you been offering this?
Spanning almost two decades
Ah – that’s what I was searching for – the exit.
- Catechism of cliche (1) – the Rapid Authoring Tool
- Catechism of cliche (2): the LMS
- Catechism of cliché (3) – the L&D pep talk
- Catechism of Cliche (4) – the project
- Catechism of Cliché (5) – Human Resources
- Catechism of Cliche (6) – an update on the operating model
- Catechism of Cliche (7) The Learning Exhibition
- Catechism of Cliché (8) the brain-based learning design
- The Lexicon of Bullshittery
- Catechism of Cliché (9) online marketing